i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
