Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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