i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize