Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
