i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
