You really coming over, don't trick.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
