We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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