dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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