u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
