remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
