When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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