do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
