Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
