Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
