he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
