the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
