Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
