Sry I called you an 8
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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