I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
