Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
