he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
