I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
