Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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