Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
