he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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