Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize