Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
