I must be too annoying 4 u.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
