I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
