I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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