i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
