YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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