break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
