I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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