Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All the doctor said was why
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
