White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
