I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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