We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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