so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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