he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You did what with his pubic hair?
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