Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
