I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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