So drunk its hurt
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
