Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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