Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
