I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
