We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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