you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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