high people should be assigned attendants
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
