all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
