Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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