I looked at my own cervix.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
