I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
