your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
