and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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