I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
