You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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