He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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