I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there's paper in my vomit.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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