sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
