Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
