xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
