I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
