well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
