He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
