How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
