Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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