I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
