tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
