My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
